Republican presidential candidate Sen.Ted Cruz's dream team

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Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz and former candidate Carly Fiorina in a discussion with political commentator Sean Hannity during a campaign rally at Faith Assembly of God Church on March 11, 2016 in Orlando, Florida.

Ted Cruz's dream team

By the time presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz announced he was naming former candidate and businesswoman Carly Fiorina as his vice presidential running mate Wednesday afternoon, the news had been flying around for hours. Many didn’t even bother to tune in for Cruz’s news conference, or only listened for a quick moment, missing the far bigger shocker.

After announcing Fiorina, Cruz went on to name his dream-team cabinet, composed of other former GOP presidential candidates. Here are the highlights of his picks, and a bit of analysis to boot.

Secretary of Defense: Sen. Lindsey Graham

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South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham would make a great Secretary of Defense for two reasons. Graham, after dropping out of the race, gave Cruz one of the most ringing endorsements the Texas senator has received when he said Cruz is, "not completely crazy." Graham is also one of the few GOP stalwarts who can be counted on to get behind the kind of carpet bombing Cruz prefers.

Secretary of Agriculture: Gov. Chris Christie

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New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, whose veto of a bill that would ban farmers from keeping pregnant pigs in crates showed just the right amount of pander as he tried to build support for the Iowa caucuses. You can't teach that kind of pander.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Sen. Rand Paul

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Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul should lead the Department of Housing and Urban Development, because nothing is funnier than making a libertarian oversee a government-funded housing program, particularly someone who has disavowed the Civil Rights Act. Plus it's a huge money saver, because the departmental budget under Paul would be, oh, zero.

Secretary of Education: Gov. Jeb! Bush

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Who knows more about education than Former Florida Gov. Jeb! Bush, who practically invented the beloved Common Core. Oh, Common Core's not beloved? Great. Neither is Jeb! Bush. It's a match made in heaven.

Secretary of the Interior: Gov. George Elmer Pataki

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Nobody really knows anything about the Department of the Interior. And nobody really knows anything about Former New York Gov. George Elmer Pataki. Plus, he needs the work.

Surgeon General: Ben Carson

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Former neurosurgeon Ben Carson, of course. Cruz said Carson's expertise in separating conjoined twins (which Cruz called "Siamese") could only help us with Middle Eastern relations, and said that as an evangelical he was particularly comfortable with devout Seventh-Day Adventist Carson's "whole God deal."

Secretary of State: Gov. John Kasich

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Cruz says he knows of no other legal way to guarantee that Kasich, who "I am so, so sick of" mostly stays out of the country. "I might not have been able to make him go back to Ohio," Cruz said, "But I can make him go to Lebanon."

Secretary of Commerce: Donald Trump

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Because let's see him put his "I can make so much money" where his "I have such a big mouth is."

Attorney General

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This was Cruz's biggest surprise of all, as Cruz announced he himself would serve as attorney general in addition to being president. "I know it's unusual," Cruz said, "but I am fairly certain that under my watch this nation is going to need the toughest, orneriest and trickiest lawyer in the world and the truth is ... that's me."