BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.TIM: Did you feel that?She doesn't answer.Tim leans over to the front passenger seat and looks at the two plastic cups of water that sit in the recessed holes on the dashboard. As he watches, the water in the glasses vibrates, making concentric circles … BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
OK, so the above is from a screenplay we found for “Jurassic Park,” but it basically unfolded in the minds of politics watchers yesterday.
A pro-Clinton group dropped some anti-Trump ads that smacked of a two-candidate contest to come. A national poll between the front-runners showed them in a tight race. Kentucky and Oregon held primaries seen as having basically no effect on either party’s nomination.
Bernie Sanders remains mathematically unlikely.
We heard the booms. Concentric circles formed within our waters. And then we understood. That T. Rex known as November is close. Scary close.
As one journalist tweeted, “Welcome to the general.”
But before we get to the main event ...
To beat this metaphor to death a bit more, Bernie Sanders is either the unexpectedly reproducing dinosaurs ("Bernie will find a way") or the pesky velociraptors who won't leave the heroine alone — depending on your personal political leanings. Clinton had hoped to use wins in Kentucky and possibly Oregon as momentum-builders before moving to the general election. But Kentucky's contest ended in a virtual tie between Clinton and Sanders, with Clinton notching a victory of less than 2,000 votes out of 450,000 votes cast. Hillary's ultra-slim victory gives her 28 of Kentucky's 55 electoral votes and six of KFC's 11 secret herbs and spices.
Then there was Oregon, a big win for Bernie; he had jumped out to an 9-point lead with 74.8% of the vote counted (click here for the latest tally). His best primary performances have come in open primaries, where he has been able to attract non-Democrats to the polls. But yesterday's Oregon contest was a closed primary — only his second win in a closed primary, and first if you don't count Democrats Abroad. If his margin holds up in Oregon, he can walk away with 33 of Oregon's 61 pledged delegates, leaving Hillary with 28. That should close the pledged-delegate gap to ... uh, 279, with only nine contests remaining. If Sanders is going to find a way to survive, he needs to splice some West African bullfrog DNA into his campaign, stat.
Oh, and Donald Trump picked up 50-point wins over two zombie candidates. There, now you're all caught up.
Oh hey, you’ve got some mud on your face there
It’s gonna get ugly, folks:
Hillary Clinton has some of the worst favorability ratings of any politician alive. Donald Trump’s are even worse. And even now, legions of unpaid Super PAC interns subsisting solely on Hot Pockets bask in the glow of MacBook screens as they compile dirt on their opposing party’s candidate.
Democratic staffers are mining old Celebrity Apprentice reruns for sound bites. The RNC made some poor kid spend an entire year in Little Rock – Little Rock! -- to make daily trips to
Bill Clinton’s presidential library.
It’s grueling, torturous work that will result in grueling, tortuous ads that we’ll have to watch for the next five grueling, torturous months.
And the first have arrived: A pro-Clinton Super PAC dropped two brutal ads that portray Donald Trump as sexist by using sound bites of Donald Trump that are sexist. In one, titled “Speak,” people mouth the audio of Trump comments.
“If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her,” a man mouths to a Trump sound bite as a young girl stands next to him.
Trump, in response, labeled Bill Clinton “the worst abuser of woman (sic) in U.S. political history.” Which, considering Thomas Jefferson raped a child who was also his slave, seems debatable.
Mud out of your eyes? Good. Here’s where we're at
Clinton has watched her polling lead over Trump this month bounce from double-digits to as low as two points. The latest: Three points, according to one NBC News poll that dropped Tuesday. (Sanders fared better than Clinton against Trump, but again, math.)
Meanwhile, signs point to Trump picking a D.C. insider for his running mate.
John Kasichsaid he’s out. Sens. Rob Portman (Ohio), Joni Ernst (Iowa) and Jeff Sessions (Alabama) all look possible. Sarah Palin, some say, remains a possibility. You’re darn tootin’!
More from the campaign trail
- Melania Trump: ‘I’m smart. I have brains.
- Nevada Dem chair asks Sanders to apologize. Sanders: ‘Nah’
- Trump bashes Bill Clinton, also says he was the best president since Reagan
Jeb Bush slams Trump’s taco bowl tweet
Jeb! You remember ol’ Jeb, right? You might also recall he’s married to woman from Mexico, and he did not like Trump’s bizarre taco bowl tweet.
“First, not all Hispanics are Mexican. Secondly, not all Hispanics eat tacos Thirdly, showing your sensitivity by eating an American dish is the most insensitive thing you can do,” Bush said in a recent interview.